It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
