you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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