girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
