I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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