It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My penis needs a shock collar
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
