my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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