I wish you could order shots online.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
