And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am naked and annoyed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize