i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
