whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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