youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
