she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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