Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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