im six kinds of drunk right now
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
