You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
