the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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