Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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