look no pants
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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