So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
