i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
