Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The ass gains better be worth it
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