I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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