he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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