Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
