i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
