even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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