Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
