I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
