i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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