and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have tasted many bathrooms
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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