He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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