I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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