My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
