I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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