how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
