Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
