ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
