hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
