You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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