you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
