try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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