What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You can't motorboat a personality
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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