just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
