Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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