How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
