I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
