I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
