Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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