omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
