I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
