if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
