i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
