A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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