I love black thongs
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
