six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
