Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
