I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i need some magic done to my vagina
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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