I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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