The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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