she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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