I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
please come you make the beer taste better
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize