my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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